What women have to put up with!!

Echo · Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 6:56 pm Post subject: What women have to put up with!!

Dear Diary,

Day 1

We just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary with not much to
celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and
he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don' t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Something must change
soon.

Day 4

I'm hoping for a miracle. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes
Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac Pills with the Viagra Pills, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5

What absolute bliss!!.

Day 6

Isn't life wonderful. But it's difficult to write while he's exercising his new found MANHOOD.

Day 7

This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they
were talking about him. But, I have to admit it's very nice -- I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing
the lawn, he was using his "new" friend as a weed whacker. I'm also getting a bit sore.

Day 9

No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. What am I going to do?

Day 11

I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and
Decker drill. I woke up this morning pinned to the bed. He's a complete
PIG.

Day 12

I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing makeup, cleaning my teeth or
even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous...

Day 13

Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed
with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry"
thing again, I'll kill the bastard.

Day 14

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started
dressing like a Nun, but this just seems to make him hornier. Help me!

Day 15

I think I'll have to kill him. The cat and dog won't go near him and our
friends don't come over any more.

Day 16

The bastard has started to complain about not getting enough. I hope the
bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra
and going back on Prozac.

Day 17

Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any
difference...Christ! Here he comes again!

Day 18

Aaaahhhh! He's back on Prozac. The lazy bastard just sits there in
front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!
_________________

zero · Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:08 pm Post subject:

There is absolutley no way to keep a woman happy.
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"I understand that fear is my friend, but not always. Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed."

**Mystic Power** · Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:26 pm Post subject:

Good find, Echo!
_________________
"We are the Ones we have been waiting for."
~Hopi Elder ~

"In Lak'ech"
~ Ancient Mayan: "I am another YOU." ~

Rev.Gregory · Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:32 pm Post subject:

HAHAHAHAHAHA
*tear
catches breath

**Fyrefly1** · Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 4:40 am Post subject:

There there, poor poor girl, everything will be alright as soon as he f**ks himself to dea.....

Oh, that wasn't you....?

rofl

_________________
Fyrefly1
"All truth passes through three stages: first it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third it is accepted as self-evident."
Arthur Schopenhauer, 19th Century Philosopher

**Brother Adam** · Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 3:32 am Post subject: