WALMART has everything

[Rev. Chazman]

Saw this on another board and got a chuckle from it. I hope nobody is offended. For those who might not know, Walmart is a big Mega-Store chain that carries a little bit of everything. And they are popping up EVERYWHERE like weeds.


Peace

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WALMART has everything (author unknown)

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley behind him, "My
elbow hurts like everything. I guess I better see a doctor."
Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. There's a
diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes
ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water
and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some
tap.water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and he added a semen sample. Bob hurries back to WalMart, eager to
check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab...
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.


And, as always, thank you for shopping at Walmart

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I praise good thoughts, good words, and good deeds and those that are to be thought, spoken, and done. I do accept all good thoughts, good words, and good deeds. I do renounce all evil thoughts, evil words, and evil deeds. ---Avesta: Yasna
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