The story of the rat

[David]

Hi everyone I thought I might share this funny story with you all.

Ferre,
You know I have this rat problem, well not me, my neighbour. His garden is full of decking and dark with lots of sheds. Next door to them you have the 91yr old lady with one leg, the life I saved 4 weeks ago for her to die of shock 1 week later. I was so traumatised I refused to go to the funeral I used to do her christmas dinner. Hey look this is getting sad, let me carry on with my rat problem. Well the old lady used to feed the sweet little birdies. But she was also feeding the pigeons, seagulls, foxs, rats and proberly the devil (and I don't mean you Ferre!).
So we have Rat house (under decking), rat food and of course a rat.
Ferre, you know me, we are the same our gardens are not rat friendly. Open, bright, pets, and of course the BBQ.
So I keep seeing this damn rat, one month ago I say to the neighbour about the decking, that he must live under it (not the neighbour)and he should call the rat catcher, well he has done nothing, 3 times I knock and nothing.

Ferre as you know I have a toilet drainage problem, so I have a big hole going under my house.
10 am my wife saw the rat run under the house, I find her screaming shouting, he's in the house, oh my god, he is in the house over and over again. so I run next and explain to the neighbours wife, she says "oh, what are you going to do, I said I don't know you know my wife she won't sleep tonight. The neighbours wife says "have you thought about the evironmental health.
Now listen, I have had the police raid me for 24hrs, a tattoo put on my face, lost my job, my kids are being watched by the social services and my wife is being threatened to lose her teaching career. and all my neighbours know I am often hurting my enemies so my house is always very lively. Do you think I need to call the eviromental health officer and have their vans outside my house in a fortnights time. LOOKS GOOD!!!

So I said to the wife, please leave this to me I will sort this out now.

The neighbour's husband leans over the fence and says to my wife, "I heard David has seen the rat again, funny I have never seen it!!!! what are you going to do!!!"
My wife says don't worry, David has contacted his friend who is like a brother, He has a GUN. The neighbours face drops.

Man it is better than a soap living in my house!!!! (I need a bigger laughing icon)

[Nachtschattenreich]

David - Have you thought about getting a cat? Parasites are best dealt with by their natural enemies.

[David]

Nach,

I have better than a cat, I have Staffordshire bullterriers live with me and I can tell you all the elderly neighbours have cats. This rat was healthy and fast, he was living fine and would dare to enter the house. I have very young children.

Children = dead rat!!! no questions.

BTW. cats will play with the rat, slow death. as soon as the bullet hit, it was gone. I am no sadist!!!!!