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Ferre
Cannabis Sacrament Minister.
Joined: 14 Apr 2003
Posts: 7295
Location: Amsterdam
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 Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:56 pm Post subject: President Bush To Legalize Marijuana On April 20 |
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Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2004 19:29:36 -0500
From: NORML News <letters@norml.org>
To: NORML News <norml_news@mail.norml.org>
Subject: President Bush To Legalize Marijuana On April 20
President Bush Legalizes Marijuana In America
Historic Executive Order to Take Effect on April 20
April 1, 2004
Washington, DC: In a move that astonished conservatives and liberals
alike, President George W. Bush issued a surprise executive order today
legalizing the possession and sale of marijuana in the United States. The
order will take effect on April 20, long considered marijuana smokers'
independence day.
When asked about the sudden change of heart, President Bush explained;
"The other night Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Powell and I were in the war room
mulling over how to sway public opinion on the war in Iraq. We were stuck
in the same rut of tired old ideas and were in desperate need of creative
new ways of thinking. That's when Karl Rove pulled out a fatty." While
Bush admitted that it had been 30 years since his last toke, he figured,
"Why not. I am the President. What can they do, arrest me?"
President Bush made the announcement in his weekly radio address, saying
that it's "high time" we reformed our marijuana policies. "The reality
is," said the President, "marijuana is far less dangerous than alcohol or
tobacco and far too many people have had their lives ruined after being
arrested for nothing more than a doobie. Besides, my Pink Floyd records
haven't sounded this good since my days at Yale. Boy, those were some
good times."
Newly appointed Drug Czar Keith Stroup hailed the move as a great step
forward for America. "For 33 years NORML has worked to show that
marijuana smokers are no different than the average American. Thankfully
we finally have a president who has come to his senses on this issue,
albeit with a little help from his old friend Mary Jane." Stroup went on
to announce that his first move as Drug Czar will be to free all marijuana
smokers currently incarcerated, and to form a commission to study
reparations for all former marijuana prisoners. He also outlined the
newest ONDCP ad campaign, "Don't Bogart That Joint," featuring the newly
reunited Cheech and Chong. The campaign is designated to promote civility
and sharing amongst cannabis consumers.
Of course, not everyone was thrilled about the President's sudden change
of heart. Sue Rusche, over-protective soccer mom and founder of National
Families in Action, lashed out at the president from behind her bottle of
valium saying that the President's decision would send the wrong message
to children. Former Drug Czar Bill Bennett, when questioned about the
executive order outside of the Sands Casino in Las Vegas, could only
mutter, "I need a cigarette."
Meanwhile, Rep. Mark Souder (R-IN), author of the Higher Education Act
Drug Provision that has denied federal financial aid to over 140,000
students with drug convictions, nearly broke into tears upon hearing the
announcement. "My children are near college age and now they may never
receive a college education," stated Souder in an impromptu press
conference with former ONDCP Director John Walters. "There is no way I
will risk sending my kids to school with a bunch of pot smoking hippies."
John Walters, looking overly mellow for a man having just lost his job,
simply passed a blunt and replied, "Just hit this Mark. You need to
loosen up. You're starting to harsh my buzz."
Meanwhile marijuana smokers nationwide took to the streets to celebrate
their newfound freedom. A haze of sweet smelling sativa smoke wafted over
the nation's capitol as Americans of all walks of life flooded Washington,
DC for the first ever legal smoke-in. The gathering featured over a
million people, without a single arrest. "This is the best day of my
life," said local hot dog vendor Joe Giamatti, "I ran out of hot dogs two
hours ago and now they're buying up all the buns. Thank you President
Bush!"
In the wake of Bush's executive order, NORML's Board of Directors issued a
statement announcing that the organization will gladly go out of business
effective April 20. "It took 33 years," said the statement "but our work
here is finally done. Our staff can finally go home and get baked in
peace."
For more information, have a happy April Fools Day. To help make the
above scenario a reality, join NORML today at www.norml.org.
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Lilli
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 4218
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| Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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:shock:AM I DREAMING? I have to be dreaming. Someone pinch me.
_________________
I pass to you the torch that Christ once passed to me.
Others are still in the dark and need
the light to see.
"I AM"
"Gathering the fragments so that
none are lost"
His Shepherdess
http://missouri.thcministry.org/
Last edited by Lilli on Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Lilli
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 4218
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| Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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Oh man
You got me. I was on the phone already lol before I scroled down. Lol I was so happy i even posted before i read THE BOTTOM LINE!!!! 
_________________
I pass to you the torch that Christ once passed to me.
Others are still in the dark and need
the light to see.
"I AM"
"Gathering the fragments so that
none are lost"
His Shepherdess
http://missouri.thcministry.org/ |
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Rev. Chazman
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 15 Nov 2003
Posts: 1403
Location: Illinois - USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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I hate April Fools Day. 
Peace
_________________
I praise good thoughts, good words, and good deeds and those that are to be thought, spoken, and done. I do accept all good thoughts, good words, and good deeds. I do renounce all evil thoughts, evil words, and evil deeds. ---Avesta: Yasna
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Future Servant of Cannatopia ©2004 - ∞ Rev. Chazman all rights reserved |
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Lilli
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 4218
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| Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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Me toooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Man what a mind blower. lol
But then I pulled it on Dark Lotus an Boogie. Then I opened Jareds door an told him while he is in bed. lol he always gets me first on april fools day. That is the grandaddy of ALL APRIL FOOLS JOKES.
_________________
I pass to you the torch that Christ once passed to me.
Others are still in the dark and need
the light to see.
"I AM"
"Gathering the fragments so that
none are lost"
His Shepherdess
http://missouri.thcministry.org/ |
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Slide
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 339
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| Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:06 am Post subject: |
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I saw the title and knew it had to be an April Fools job.
Unfortunately the only April fools around here are in elected office. |
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Urbanhog
moderator
Joined: 22 Apr 2003
Posts: 338
Location: Tropical Queensland, Australia
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| Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 5:59 am Post subject: |
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That post is everywhere.....on the net.
Its sounds like Norml is trying to increase their profile and get more members.
_________________
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
--Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad (1869) |
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