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Mystic Power
admin THC-Ministry YahooGroup
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3605
Location: Key West
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 Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:52 pm Post subject: Outsourcing Jobs |
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From my mystical, magical Inbox:
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Subject: Presidential job outsourced to India
Date: Tuesday, 31 January 2006
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of January 12,
2006. The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly
salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds,
with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied
outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain
competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash
outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway or sometime.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be
assuming the office of President as of January 12, 2006. Mr. Singh
was born in the United States while his Indian parents were
vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no
health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will
allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center,
"stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this
position. I always hoped I would be President someday."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President,
this should not be a problem, because Bush was not familiar with the
issues either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns without having to
understand the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting
tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them
successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas
drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home"persona in his
effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation.
Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he
will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his
unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has
been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him
write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter
position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience
shaking hands and phony smile. Another possibility is Bush's
re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are
conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely
be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a
country he has visited.
"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad
Airport's terminal and gift shop. Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say
Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have
asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might
arrange an appropriate welcome.
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Bliss on,
Ben
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"In Lak'ech"
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Fyrefly1
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Joined: 07 Sep 2004
Posts: 2209
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| Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Fyrefly1
"All truth passes through three stages: first it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third it is accepted as self-evident."
Arthur Schopenhauer, 19th Century Philosopher |
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4_Bob2Marley_0
senior member
Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Posts: 229
Location: Chicago,Il
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4_Bob2Marley_0
senior member
Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Posts: 229
Location: Chicago,Il
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:44 am Post subject: |
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that is kinda crazy if you ask me
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Bob Marley is back
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