Depression and the 'light at the end of the tunnel.'

[HighRising]

Like so many people these days... I have to admit I have suffered from depression since I was quite young. My teens were filled with flip-flops between blinding, crippling rage, sadness and then back to 'normality.' I had always just presumed it was that growing up thing we all have to do... but unfortunately it followed me along throughout the years. And for the past 3 or 4, it's been quite bad, bad enough to take me right down to the bottom and that's all I really want to say about it. I've never really been comfortable talking about it, and only recently have I been able to admit it to friends or family, but I guess talking about it has helped me.

It never seemed irrational... I could just never release myself from reading into the cynical motives behind everything. And of course, if you're looking for bad things, you'll find them. I had totally constructed a cold, ugly world of godless hatred, as far as I was aware everyone was just screwing eachother over in a greedy wrestle for things, waiting to die, and all I could do was watch and be sad for them.

But finally... I'm breaking free. My mind and spirit is full of love and hapiness and I feel more empowered than ever. And obviously (I mean, I am here, right? ) you know what helped me out of it. I can't even begin to say why or how... but just the spiritual revelations, opening my eyes to the beauty and just out and out awesomeness of everything around me. The plain old thrill of being alive. The realisation that everything is okay if I want it to be. That love is there if I look for it.

Jeez, the things that I see now I've never seen before... That we are all one, that god is everything, even if you don't want it to be, even if you don't realise, it's all still there and you will always find what you need if you look hard enough.

It's so hard to put into words, but I'm just so thankfull that this plant I have always been told is evil and wrong has released me from a problem that I know would have killed me in time. Free thinking, free will and rational thought has lead me to the truth. And here I am... even though I am happy I still feel a little lonely, that I have had all these revelations and I want to share them with people... and it warms my soul to find this place, to find you people. The future is bright, and I look forward to the truths and revelations life has yet to show me!

It's all good! And I will be ordering a sanctuary kit soon, although I fear it won't be of much use in Australia. But it has to start somewhere!
_________________
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Puddn'head Wilson's Calendar

[Torkel]

Thanks for sharing you experience with us, HighRising.

I wish you success and balance on the road ahead...

Peace,
Torkel
_________________
Miller vs U.S. (230 F 2nd 486,489): "The claim and exercise of a Constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime."

Miranda vs Arizona (384 U.S. 436, 125): "Where rights secured by the Constitution are involved, there can be no rule-making or legislation which would abrogate them."

HAGANS vs LAVINE (415 US 533 N-3,note 5): "Once JURISDICTION is challenged it must be proven by the Plaintiff."

[Torkel]

Thanks for sharing you experience with us, HighRising.

I wish you success and balance on the road ahead...

Peace,
Torkel
_________________
Miller vs U.S. (230 F 2nd 486,489): "The claim and exercise of a Constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime."

Miranda vs Arizona (384 U.S. 436, 125): "Where rights secured by the Constitution are involved, there can be no rule-making or legislation which would abrogate them."

HAGANS vs LAVINE (415 US 533 N-3,note 5): "Once JURISDICTION is challenged it must be proven by the Plaintiff."

[Mystic Power]

Congrats on your break-throughs, HighRising!

[Mystic Power]

Congrats on your break-throughs, HighRising!